Sunday, January 3, 2010

Million-Dollar Noodle Two years ago, I couldn't sleep. I knew in a few hours, I'd have to walk my then 8-month old son, into an operating room so a neurosurgeon and a cranial-facial plastic surgeon could cut his head open from ear to ear across the top of his scalp, remove the plates in his forehead, reshape them, create a soft spot for him, and piece him back together. It was the scariest moment of my life to just leave him alone in that stark operating room. I cried all day and felt like an elephant was standing on my chest. When the call came, almost 8 hours after I left him, the release of emotion was tremendous. There was laughter and tears and, finally, a deep breath. I have never experienced anything as intense. Nothing could have prepared us for what he'd look like in the days after the surgery. When his eyes swelled shut, he would still kick and reach when he heard a familiar voice. It was heartbreaking. I won't ever forget reading on this blog (back in the day when Bill had the password, he posted too :-0 ) that Nolan could open his eyes. I couldn't get to the hospital fast enough so he could SEE me. The smile he gave me, well it is just something I'll never forget. Looking back, it sucked, but we got through it. It was a very short-term medical issue and all went according to the best case senerio and he is just fine. I never want to do it again, but knowing that I was the best advocate for my son makes it easier. If I hadn't stood up and spoken my mind, who knows what would have happened thanks to the negligence of our (then) pediatrician. We often tell Reagan and Nolan the story about how Nolan had to have surgery on his head because he is so smart that his brain needed more room to grow. They also like to talk about the time, this past summer, that our peds office sent us to the E.R. for a case of roseola. In their little 2-year old minds, the two stories blend together and now the story is that Nolan had surgery on his "million dollar noodle" because he had roseola. I go back and read the posts from January 2008 every so often, but tonight it is most meaningful. *If you care to relive the inception of this blog, here is the month of January (read from bottom up) :

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