How Does This Happen?

OK, this is not a post about me or about the fairly nice Memorial Day Weekend we had. That will come tomorrow once I get the pictures off the camera and I calm down a bit. I am SMOKING ANGRY right now. This is a post about a girl I know, Kate. We "met" over the internet about 4 years ago on a Fertility Friend message board. There were about 8 of us that formed our own yahoo group and kept in touch. We still email a couple of times a month, but not like we used to. Several of us have been lucky enough to have children and some haven't, so it makes things tough sometimes. Kate and her hubby have been through more infertility stuff than anyone else I know. They live in Florida and have travelled to NYC to have invitro. They have done it all, spent more than I care to imagine, and have been through the ringer. Each time it was a BFN (big fat negative in infertility speak.) Kate had a couple of tot-sicles (frozen embryos) in Florida and one at Cornell. She decided to do one last IVF in FL. The two embryos from Florida were not good quality and the Cornell one was the one all the hopes were resting on......until SOMEONE LOST IT! That is right, somewhere between the labs in NY and FL, the embie just disappeared. HOW IN THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN?????? I"m not starting the debate about when a life starts, but that embryo was a potential baby!!!!! Perhaps their last shot at a bio-kid. I can't even begin to imagine how Kate felt when they heard that news. They went ahead and transferred the two poor quality embryos and the result this weekend was a BFN....expected, but still devastating. How do you even begin to fathom what was potentially lost? How can they be compensated for this? After being so jaded and taken through the ringer over and over, could you even try again? My gosh, this is WAY more than someone should have to go through. My heart just aches for them.