My Dad

I'm having a lot of memories of my Dad lately. Everywhere I turn there is something that reminds of him. I looked in the rear view mirror today and Nolan's winter hat was sitting way up high on his head, just like my Dad used to wear it. That is where it started. When the kids went to nap I put a CD of Christmas carols on and "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing" came on. I thought back to all the years my Mom made my Dad go to church with us on Christmas Eve. He usually would stop at Beanie's for a few drinks on his way home from working 1/2 day. Back then, machine shops had lots of work and put in time on holidays often. Anyway, he'd have his beers and chili and come home a little looped. He would begrudgingly get dressed up for church in his best sweater and off we would go. He would sing, but he would change the words to Hark, the Hairy Angels Sing and such. He had such a nice voice. I wish he would have sung more often. I wish he was here to sing to my kids.

He loved Karen Carpenter's voice and the song with the line, "I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve, I wish I were with you." Every Christmas Eve since my Dad has passed (9 Christmases this year) I wake up with that song in my head. I guess he is here with me in spirit. I hope it is there again next week.

The night my Dad died Bill and I were driving home from my parents house after the funeral home had come to take him away. It was late, maybe 2 or 3am, I don't remember exactly. We stopped for a light on Lakeshore Blvd. and out of nowhere a huge bird starts walking across the street. It stopped when it got in front of our car and looked at me for a really long time. I can remember Bill saying something like "What the hell" and I just calmly said "its my Dad." I'm sure that he was coming to say goodbye since I wasn't with him when he passed. He has left me lots of bird feathers over the years, in places you wouldn't expect to find them.... under the covers of my bed (no, we don't have feather pillows or quilts), in my car, at work, etc. It always seemed to happen at time when I needed them most, when I needed to know that he was still with me and that he knew I missed him more than I ever thought possible. Today I was cleaning the kids high chairs and there was a feather under the chairs.

Thanks Dad. I needed that.